Monday, December 7, 2009

Air Travel on the Cheap!

Short on cash? Tired of of that squirming toddler on your lap? Are the glares of hatred from fellow passengers making you self-conscious? Are you just wanting a moment of peace, even if it is in a malfunctioning, cattle-car-coach-class seat?

The solution is simple- put your child in a suitcase! It's easy and only costs you one carry-on bag. In fact, make it a game... kids love to play hide and seek. They also like cozy, warm spaces. Constant vibration lulls them to sleep. With any luck they'll forget about the game and nap all the way to your destination.

Step 1- carefully pack child into roller suitcase. Be careful not to catch skin or hair in the zipper

Step 2: Use the wheeled luggage to roll your little one to the gate. It's that simple!

This really is the best of all worlds. Don't sweat the TSA- they missed 75% of fake bomb parts in LAX... getting a kid through should be a breeze. A low-iron diet for your child might help.

For an added bonus, take the child out of the suitcase at the gate, show him off to pre-board, and stuff him back in on the ramp to the plane. And no need for a carseat- in the off-chance you do get pulled over the officer will never think to check your luggage.

Happy, safe travels this holiday season!

Play a game of "gopher" and have your child pop his head out of the bag periodically

P.S. Thanks to Aunti E for the photos!
P.P.S. This entire post, as well as much of this blog, is satire. Please do not take it seriously. At least the part about a low-iron diet. I doubt that will help much.


Holly said...

Satire? No way - this is the best idea to come along since sliced bread! Everybody wins - you, your fellow passengers, even the kid. What a crack up - almost as funny as the muppets doing Bohemian Rhapsody. And remember, a woman at LAX sent her grandchild through the scanner - a carry on bag isn't nearly so bad :-) When I pick you up at the airport on Christmas I'll look for the roller bag with the child's head popping up! Safe travels....

CalBadger said...

Ah, it warms my heart to see family (both sides, that's for sure!) traits modified and updated for the modern era..... we might as well be damn proud 'cause none of us can alter our genetic code! Hark, the squeaking continues...Scrooge is strictly minor league even thought he's our fifth cousin ten times removed. By the way, did you know that Black Friday is actually our Easter?! Think on that one!

Todd said...

Classic. Oh, and thanks for the disclaimer.

Ronan is so cute. I can't wait to see him in person (along with you two of course). 2 more weeks!

Holly said...

Have you thought of selling this to Sat. Night Live as a potential skit? More money for Ronan's college education :-)